Still the world goes round

For those not in "the know", a couple of months ago, I left my fancy White House job.  I had one too many late nights combined with one too many missed bedtimes and felt I needed a change.  I took a position with a company I worked for previously that was closer to home and promotes a better work life balance for all.  

Along about the same time I started my new job, we decided K needed something new with regards to her daily routine.  Originally, the idea was for her to go to summer camp through my new job, but when that fell through, we decided a summer of fun would be in order.  We were able to find a wonderful woman who would accept our crazy zoo AND give KIC a super fun summer.  Suddenly, it was like a burden was lifted from my shoulders.  KIC would have an entire summer spent, not with me comparing her to her peers and seeing where the weaknesses were, but instead, doing wonderful, fun, enriching things that neither Brent nor I have much opportunity to do with her.  Both KIC and her caregiver have embraced many new experiences this summer and KIC loves to share her stories with anyone who will listen.

The transitions, coming as close as they did, set the Shoup axis on tilt for a hot second.  I will admit, for my part, certain transitions have been harder on me than I anticipated.  I really did love my job at the White House and I love all the people I met there.  It was hard to avoid comparisons between the new job and my old job.  But I didn't fully appreciate how well my child had adapted to me being gone all the time until yesterday.

Me, pointing to a picture of Barack Obama:  KIC, who is this?
KIC:  I don't know.
Me:  That's Barack Obama.
KIC:  You used to live with him, right?
Me, smiling: No, I used to work for him.
KIC:  But then you left so you could spend more time with me, right? 
Me:  I sure did.  I love you, bebes. 
KIC:  I love you too, Mommy.

After a conversation like that, where I realize that KIC not only recognized my absence, adapted to it and appreciates my presence, it puts things into perspective.  The truth is, she'll love me no matter where I work and moments like this are fleeting.  Suddenly, I don't yearn for what I don't have anymore (as much), I appreciate (again) the gift that is my child.

The Miseducation of KIC

I've mentioned about eleventy billion times before that KIC is cursed with parents far less intelligent than she. More than one friend has wagged the proverbial finger at me with the warning go "wait til she's a teenager and then you'll know how dumb you really are". While it's true that I lived the teen years long ago, I do recall thinking I knew everything (emo) and my parent's were clueless. I can't wait until my eye rolls are recognized for sarcasm as opposed to an involuntary tic.

KIC is super extremely awesomely blessed to have a summer filled with merriment lined up for her. Baltimore Aquarium? Yes, please. Lunch at fancy restaurants? Most delightful. Hobnobbing at a horseshow? Extraordinary, my dahling. For the most part, she is excited about these opportunities, but I'm afraid she's getting a little jaded.

To wit:

Me after confirming plans: KIC, you're going to the zoo tomorrow.
KIC, nonchalantly: Okay, that will be fine.
Me masking a snicker: You're going to the zoo and all you can say is "that will be fine"?
KIC: Uh huh. Me: Okay then. What do you think your favorite part will be?
KIC voice dripping with condescension: The animals.

So, today's mommy lesson is that you go to the zoo to see the animals. Apparently, according to my four year old, I have been living under a rock. Not sure what I would do without my four year old to keep me straight.

"You be the deer...now run!"

I  have, what I think, a foolproof way to scare deer away from the road while I'm driving.  And no, smarty pants, it's not my driving.  Whenever I see deer near the road, walking in the road or even thinking about getting in the road, I honk my horn.  I've used it many times, with much success.  Believe me, living on the edge of the country and surburbia, I see a lotta deer.

On one such occasion, with my excellent spotter Terri, we managed to scare away two deer.  Terri and I were both high diving each other, while KIC sat quietly in the back seat. 

Last night, while driving the very same route where we neatly avoided the deer, KIC was engaging in some creative role playing.  The following conversation ensued:

KIC:  "Mommy, how about I be the horn and you be the deer?"
Me:  "Okay, baby, but what am I supposed to do?"
KIC:  "When I honk the horn you run."
Me:  "...."
KIC:  "Honk honk!!!!!  Run, Mommy, run!!!"

Not sure how I feel about being moved to a lower rung of the prey part of the food chain.  I'll figure it out just as soon as I stop running.

Why do you walk?

My Avon walk Chicago experience is officially in the history books! It was a gorgeous weekend in Chicago. Temperatures did not rise above the 80’s and the breeze off of Lake Michigan kept everything manageable. The support of the community and crew was fantastic, the camaraderie was the best I’ve ever seen and made me proud, once again, to be a participant in such a great cause.

Since finishing, I’ve tried to write this post in my head a million times. Everything I could think of seemed too casual, too flip. Instead, I thought I'd talk about what motivates me to do the walk. The truth is, there are a million reasons why I walk. I walk for the men and women who didn’t beat their cancer, I walk for the people they left behind. I walk for the men and women who DID beat cancer and forge a new legacy with and for their friends and family. I walk for the people newly diagnosed, who pick up the sword and shield and fight like hell every.day to win their battle against cancer. I walk for the people who have yet to be diagnosed, but who will soon join a fraternity of men and women who KNOW what it is to fight cancer. And I walk, so people who don’t know what it’s like to battle, will hopefully never have to witness the battle, will be aware of the battle and will be empathetic to those who are in the middle of the fray.

As we walked Saturday morning, a heated debate broke out behind us. A woman, who raised funds, who raised awareness and who at that very moment was participating in a walk to fight breast cancer, was arguing that the pink ribbon movement, and really all awareness movements, weren’t one size fits all. She could understand why women were angry to be called breast cancer survivors, who saw the pink ribbon movement to be opportunistic and single sighted (money). And just as I was about to turn around and join the heated debate, her companion said (paraphrasing) “this movement is about hope. It’s about hope for the families and hope for the people who are fighting.” And I thought, Amen.

I fundraise so the contributions of my friends and family bring hope to those who are battling. I walk so that those who have gone before me into battle, those that currently battle and those who will battle know that they are not alone. And I pray that my commitment to raise breast cancer awareness inspires others to raise awareness as well. 

Thank you for your support. Thank you for your monetary contributions. Please consider joining me next year in Charlotte, NC. Blisters suck, chemo’s worse…defeating cancer is priceless.

The importance of birthdays

Everyone knows that when you are young, birthdays are king.  They become a bargaining tool (if you'll be my friend, you can come to my birthday party), a weapon (you're not my friend.  I'm not inviting you to my birthday party) as well as an affirmation of friendship (XXX invited me to her birthday party!!!).  KIC LIVES for birthdays, and more specifically, birthday parties.  Aunt Terri's birthday is coming up and KIC has been further reinforcing her love of birthdays.  She's also been reminding me of the fact that she forgets NOTHING.

The set up:
Me:  KIC, Aunt Terri's birthday is coming up so -
KIC:  Can we go to her birthday party????
Me:  Well, no, Aunt Terri lives pretty far away and -
KIC:  We can drive there!!
Me:  We can??
KIC:  Yes, Daddy and I can help you drive there.  Daddy??
DH:  Yes, Kaitlyn?
KIC:  Can we help Mommy drive to Aunt Terri's?
DH (seizing a rare "payback" moment):  We sure can, KIC.
It was at this point, I changed the subject and stated it was time for me to take a shower.

The gift:
Me:  KIC, what do you want to get Aunt Terri for her birthday?
KIC:  A bike.
Me:  A bike??
KIC:  Yes, I think Aunt Terri wants a bike.
Me:  KIC, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want a bike. 
KIC:  I want to get her a bike.
~ Mommy calls Aunt Terri for confirmation that no, indeed she does NOT want a bike~
KIC:  Who was that?
Me:  Aunt Terri.
KIC:  What did she say?
Me:  That she doesn't really want a bike but will love and appreciate anything you get her.
KIC:  Then, I will get her a bike.
Me:  KIC, she doesn't really want a bike.
KIC:  But she said yes.
Me:  Yes, I know, but -
KIC:  She said yes, so we will get her a bike.
Me:  No, she doesn't want a bike so we'll have to figure out something else to get her.
KIC:  Okay, well, remember, that one time after school you said we could get her a bounce house and I could play in it.
Me:  Bike it is!

Enjoy your bike, Aunt Terri!  Happy birthday!

Just Call Me Lizzie

There was recently a (temporary) reduction of animals at the Shoup zoo.  Our (not at all) sweet hamster, Princess Gypsy crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  DH discovered the poor girl and promptly informed me.  We hatched a plan where the hamster would be covertly replaced with KIC none the wiser.

While I was in the shower (doesn't everybody do their best thinking in the shower??), I recalled several conversations wherein KIC referenced dying or being killed (bugs, to be specific).  Armed with this knowledge, I decided it would be a better policy to be honest with KIC.  This would have been okay, however what I failed to take into account is KIC was hungry and tired.  This is a recipe for crankiness under normal circumstances, but when you add hearing about the loss of a beloved (in the eyes of a four year old) pet, the results are nothing less than disastrous.

Because I was the one who delivered the news, Princess Gypsy's blood was (figuratively) on my hands.  At one point, as KIC was railing at me about how "you're not my friend, Daddy's my friend", I looked right at DH and said "you're welcome".  His smug face indicated we should have stuck with the original plan and then we wouldn't be in this mess.  To which I glared and stomped off, while hearing "you died her!!  You're not my friend!!"

Eventually, after a meal and some ice cream, KIC's heartbreak faded and we welcomed Princess Gypsy 2.0 into the Shoup Zoo. We all love PG 2.0 and work very hard to ensure her health and happiness.  Little Miss Memory of an Elephant, however, will remain ever vigilant as I interact with PG 2.0.  Recently, as KIC was taking a bath, I refreshed PG 2.0's water.  When I came back into the bathroom, KIC gave me a stern look and said "You didn't die her, did you?  Because that would make me very sad".  To which, I replied, rather sullenly, "No, I didn't!!"

If you need me, I'll be on my therapist's couch, asking why hamsters never love me

This ain't yo momma's book club!

I was recently invited to join a book club. The first round featured an extremely heavy book and I wasn't sure I could hang. While the book was heavy, the conversations were irreverent, whimsical and funny. As the number of times we meet increases, our time spent discussing the book decreases, and the humorous discourse increases. It should be noted that, unlike many book clubs, our humor doesn't increase with our alcohol consumption, giving you an idea of just how awesome these ladies are.

There are some gems from tonight that are simply too good not to share. These are taken out of context, but I place no spin on the content at all. Okay, maybe a little.

The progression of a gift discussion:
"Hello,Pedro? How much would it cost to taxidermy a hamster? $200?? How long would that take? Could I have it by May 19th?"

"Hello, Mom? We're interested in creating a three piece taxidermied hamster mariachi band. Do you think you could check the taxidermy prices at the lake?"
"Okay, mom says we'll need to send the mariachi clothes and instruments with the hamsters. She says Michael's is a good place to look."
"I know someone who sews. We can totally get mariachi costumes for the hamsters!"
"We might want to get animals that are easier to find.  Though, calling around asking for dead animals to taxidermy is what puts you on my client list."  - criminal defense attorney

How far do you go to avoid embarrassment?
"I paid you $50 to not go to your sex party!"

"This crazy girl is going to shave her head, get a faux hawk - "
"You don't actually have to shave your head to get a faux hawk. You can just buzz it."
"Whatever. She's going to shave her head, get a faux hawk and dye it pink to raise money. I asked her how much it would cost for her NOT to do it."
"I will double what she's paying you so that you DO do it and I want pictures of you walking into work with a pink faux hawk."
"Yeah, I'm not actually going to go into work with pink hair."
"Oh. Well, that decreases the value for me."

On Death and Dying:
""Going to the lake" is my mother's euphemism for taking animals to the vet to be euthanized."
"Does she take husbands to the lake???"

"Wait, why do you have a dead hamster in your freezer?"
"Because they start to stink if you leave them sitting out."
"I have two dead hamsters in my freezer. I've had one for a year and a half, and the other for six months."
"..."

Hodgepodge:
"I have the perfect book to read for our next book club."
"What's it called?"
""Ants Have Sex In Your Beer."
"My 15 year old son is going to ask how!"

The Aftermath:
"Tonight is going to get its own blog post!!"
"About crazy women who taxidermy their children's hamsters to give as gifts??"

Hopefully, you too can find an irreverent book club. Just remember, the first rule of book club is to not talk about book club.