Cover your Barbie, please!!

KIC has a ton of Barbie dolls. Let's face it, if your kid is into Barbies, anything Barbie becomes a relatively inexpensive reward. "Poop on the potty and this Barbie doll is yours!" "No cavities at the dentist and I'll get you a Baaaaarbie!" "Clean the bathroom, and that Barbie convertible is yours!" Barbies and Legos also become ubiquitous kid gifts. The occasions for which a Barbie are limitless, ergo, KIC has a lot of Barbie stuff.

I can appreciate the lessons changing Barbie's wardrobe brings into real world focus. Learning how to coordinate, learning shirts go on top, pants go on bottom, etc. What drives me absolutely batty is seeing naked dolls everywhere. I have relaxed a little on enforcing all Barbies remain in a clothed state in the house, but I remain steadfast on the rule that all Barbies leaving the house MUST be clothed. While I harbor no illusions that my child taking a naked Barbie in public means she'll run away and join a nudist colony, I just think clothes on Barbie is the sensible way to go.
Today, while watering the flowers in the front of the house, I noticed KIC had an unclothed Barbie in her hand. I'm super impressed with her conflict resolution, but I'm not entirely sure she wasn't being a smartass. This is what went down:

Me: KIC, your Barbie isn't wearing any clothes.
KIC: Sorry, Mommy, I'll fix it.
Me: Thanks, bebes.
KIC (without ever having gone into the house): There, Mommy, I fixed it.

This is what I saw when I turned around. Ingenious or smart aleck, you decide.

An open letter to Charles E. Cheese

Dear Charles,

May I call you Charles?  I don't feel as though our relationship warrants the use of an affectionate nickname.

Kudos to you, sir, for cornering the market on cheap thrills, cheap eats and cheap prizes that enthralls children of all ages.Clearly, weary parents have been relying on hour entertainment skillz for years, so a tip of the hat to you. You've managed to evolve and embrace technology in ways other children's entertainment venues can only hope to emulate, while preserving classics that remain dear to many of us.  I still smile when I see Whack-A-Mole and Skeeball, no matter how stingy the ticket rewards get over time.

Where you have failed, and failed miserably, is in customer service when things don't go according to your policies and procedures. I won't go into details, but your general attitude of interrogation, not facilitation, is completely out of line when dealing with parents and caregivers. Those of us who are invested in the children in our lives, also strive to protect them. Accusations only bring out our protective instincts, and when our kids are involved, we go OFF!  Further, if you are calling to ask what happened, don't intimate that I am a liar.  Empathy and compassion go a long way.

As of now, sir, it will be a long time to never before we step foot in one of your entertainment places again.  While I recognize, this means a loss of approximately tens of dollars, it's the principle.  A place that does not core customer service values does not deserve another thought from the Shoup house.  I can get crappy pizza served to me by bored teenagers, minus the side of headache, anywhere.

Sincerely,
Pizza is bad for you anyway

It had to be you

A little over 10 years ago, I met my soul mate. I was not looking for love at the time, and our original meeting was a chance encounter. I knew, as soon as our eyes met, it was meant to be. Alack and alas, ours was an unrequited love for many months. But I never forgot that moment and I counted down the days until we could meet again.

After returning from my honeymoon (what, did you think this story was about Brent?!?!), I sought out my soul mate again. I could not forget her paws on my arm, her warm brown eyes or her sweet sweet face. Her name was Sunshine and I just knew it was meant to be!! Brent, being the softie that he is, agreed that Sunshine should be ours now that our lives had settled into marital bliss (ha!).

Life with Sunshine did not start out easily. She loved her people, but other dogs, not so much. She tested my patience, strained our budget and claimed everything not nailed down with her teeth. But she taught me about commitment, unconditional love and how to find patience like never before. She taught me the importance of communication and boundaries and the power of praise AND discipline. When Brent was deployed, Sunshine was my constant companion. Night after night, we would go on walks together, content within the peace of a world that was settling down for the night. She filled Brent's side of the bed willingly, and never complained when she lost her spot during his trips back home.

Sunshine has put up with a lot in this lifetime. I think she is envisioning her big, fat, juicy uncontested bone on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Her age and her diabetes are slowing her down these days, but she still gives the other dogs a run for their money when a bone is involved. She's still willing to give sweet doggie kisses, tolerate an energetic preschooler and greet new people with her ever present goosing. And she still makes my heart melt with her liquid (surgically repaired) eyes.

Everybody says the have the best dog in the world. I do not have the best dog in the whole wide world, I have the best dog for me. Stubborn, funny, protective, loving, smart and sweet, I do not ever want to imagine a life without my Sunshine.

Still the world goes round

For those not in "the know", a couple of months ago, I left my fancy White House job.  I had one too many late nights combined with one too many missed bedtimes and felt I needed a change.  I took a position with a company I worked for previously that was closer to home and promotes a better work life balance for all.  

Along about the same time I started my new job, we decided K needed something new with regards to her daily routine.  Originally, the idea was for her to go to summer camp through my new job, but when that fell through, we decided a summer of fun would be in order.  We were able to find a wonderful woman who would accept our crazy zoo AND give KIC a super fun summer.  Suddenly, it was like a burden was lifted from my shoulders.  KIC would have an entire summer spent, not with me comparing her to her peers and seeing where the weaknesses were, but instead, doing wonderful, fun, enriching things that neither Brent nor I have much opportunity to do with her.  Both KIC and her caregiver have embraced many new experiences this summer and KIC loves to share her stories with anyone who will listen.

The transitions, coming as close as they did, set the Shoup axis on tilt for a hot second.  I will admit, for my part, certain transitions have been harder on me than I anticipated.  I really did love my job at the White House and I love all the people I met there.  It was hard to avoid comparisons between the new job and my old job.  But I didn't fully appreciate how well my child had adapted to me being gone all the time until yesterday.

Me, pointing to a picture of Barack Obama:  KIC, who is this?
KIC:  I don't know.
Me:  That's Barack Obama.
KIC:  You used to live with him, right?
Me, smiling: No, I used to work for him.
KIC:  But then you left so you could spend more time with me, right? 
Me:  I sure did.  I love you, bebes. 
KIC:  I love you too, Mommy.

After a conversation like that, where I realize that KIC not only recognized my absence, adapted to it and appreciates my presence, it puts things into perspective.  The truth is, she'll love me no matter where I work and moments like this are fleeting.  Suddenly, I don't yearn for what I don't have anymore (as much), I appreciate (again) the gift that is my child.

The Miseducation of KIC

I've mentioned about eleventy billion times before that KIC is cursed with parents far less intelligent than she. More than one friend has wagged the proverbial finger at me with the warning go "wait til she's a teenager and then you'll know how dumb you really are". While it's true that I lived the teen years long ago, I do recall thinking I knew everything (emo) and my parent's were clueless. I can't wait until my eye rolls are recognized for sarcasm as opposed to an involuntary tic.

KIC is super extremely awesomely blessed to have a summer filled with merriment lined up for her. Baltimore Aquarium? Yes, please. Lunch at fancy restaurants? Most delightful. Hobnobbing at a horseshow? Extraordinary, my dahling. For the most part, she is excited about these opportunities, but I'm afraid she's getting a little jaded.

To wit:

Me after confirming plans: KIC, you're going to the zoo tomorrow.
KIC, nonchalantly: Okay, that will be fine.
Me masking a snicker: You're going to the zoo and all you can say is "that will be fine"?
KIC: Uh huh. Me: Okay then. What do you think your favorite part will be?
KIC voice dripping with condescension: The animals.

So, today's mommy lesson is that you go to the zoo to see the animals. Apparently, according to my four year old, I have been living under a rock. Not sure what I would do without my four year old to keep me straight.

"You be the deer...now run!"

I  have, what I think, a foolproof way to scare deer away from the road while I'm driving.  And no, smarty pants, it's not my driving.  Whenever I see deer near the road, walking in the road or even thinking about getting in the road, I honk my horn.  I've used it many times, with much success.  Believe me, living on the edge of the country and surburbia, I see a lotta deer.

On one such occasion, with my excellent spotter Terri, we managed to scare away two deer.  Terri and I were both high diving each other, while KIC sat quietly in the back seat. 

Last night, while driving the very same route where we neatly avoided the deer, KIC was engaging in some creative role playing.  The following conversation ensued:

KIC:  "Mommy, how about I be the horn and you be the deer?"
Me:  "Okay, baby, but what am I supposed to do?"
KIC:  "When I honk the horn you run."
Me:  "...."
KIC:  "Honk honk!!!!!  Run, Mommy, run!!!"

Not sure how I feel about being moved to a lower rung of the prey part of the food chain.  I'll figure it out just as soon as I stop running.

Why do you walk?

My Avon walk Chicago experience is officially in the history books! It was a gorgeous weekend in Chicago. Temperatures did not rise above the 80’s and the breeze off of Lake Michigan kept everything manageable. The support of the community and crew was fantastic, the camaraderie was the best I’ve ever seen and made me proud, once again, to be a participant in such a great cause.

Since finishing, I’ve tried to write this post in my head a million times. Everything I could think of seemed too casual, too flip. Instead, I thought I'd talk about what motivates me to do the walk. The truth is, there are a million reasons why I walk. I walk for the men and women who didn’t beat their cancer, I walk for the people they left behind. I walk for the men and women who DID beat cancer and forge a new legacy with and for their friends and family. I walk for the people newly diagnosed, who pick up the sword and shield and fight like hell every.day to win their battle against cancer. I walk for the people who have yet to be diagnosed, but who will soon join a fraternity of men and women who KNOW what it is to fight cancer. And I walk, so people who don’t know what it’s like to battle, will hopefully never have to witness the battle, will be aware of the battle and will be empathetic to those who are in the middle of the fray.

As we walked Saturday morning, a heated debate broke out behind us. A woman, who raised funds, who raised awareness and who at that very moment was participating in a walk to fight breast cancer, was arguing that the pink ribbon movement, and really all awareness movements, weren’t one size fits all. She could understand why women were angry to be called breast cancer survivors, who saw the pink ribbon movement to be opportunistic and single sighted (money). And just as I was about to turn around and join the heated debate, her companion said (paraphrasing) “this movement is about hope. It’s about hope for the families and hope for the people who are fighting.” And I thought, Amen.

I fundraise so the contributions of my friends and family bring hope to those who are battling. I walk so that those who have gone before me into battle, those that currently battle and those who will battle know that they are not alone. And I pray that my commitment to raise breast cancer awareness inspires others to raise awareness as well. 

Thank you for your support. Thank you for your monetary contributions. Please consider joining me next year in Charlotte, NC. Blisters suck, chemo’s worse…defeating cancer is priceless.