I Can't Let This Go

Alternately titled, "Why You Shouldn't Tell Me Anything."

I want to first preface this by saying, the person depicted in this story is 100% not made up and also not me.  Secondly, I'd like to also state that this is all in good fun but everything the other person says they BELIEVE. 

Friend:  You won't believe what happened to me!  I got pulled over for going 57 mph.

Me:  In a 55??

Friend:  Yes!  And I told the officer when he pulled me over "Officer, I have been told my whole life that there is a speed allowance and that during work hours, you can go a certain number of miles over the speed limit."

Me:  You shouldn't have done that!  That is an admission of guilt!  You should just get your speedometer calibrated and when you go to court -

Friend:  Oh, I didn't get a ticket.

Me:  You didn't??

Friend:  No, I just got sassed.  The officer said to me "You know, usually people never pass me."

Me:  You PASSED a police officer?  Going above the speed limit?

Friend:  I always do. 

Me:  ...

Later in the day:

Friend:  After the rough start I had this morning, things are kind of crazy.

Me:  Well, you had the police officer pull you over and what else?

Friend:  That's it.  And I was on the phone with my friend, so he said "So, you passed me AND you were on the phone."

Me:  You PASSED a police officer AND you were on the phone when you did it???

Friend:  Yes!

Me:  I just...I can't...I am going to leave now because I don't trust my filter is working.

Friend:  It's never been a big deal before when I have passed police officers.  It's part of the morning commute.

Me:  Please stop talking. 

Friend:  *laughter*

If you need me, I'll be auditioning new friends with a driver's online test.  Oy.