Thursday, October 23, 2014

Conversations with CNC

I know you probably come here for adorable stories about my children.  I know it's also probably a mistake to let you into my warped mind.  I'm going to throw all that out the window for today's "Conversations with CNC."  For the record, we apparently think we are hysterical.

This all started when CNC forwarded me an email titled "Georgia Aquarium Beliga Pregnancy Announcement".

CNC:  while you get panda pregnancy updates, I get Beluga whale updates.

Me:  2 things.  When I saw the title, I was like "caviar??  Why do we care about Beluga caviar?"  So, if I understand this correctly, the boy Beluga did his job, got her knocked up and then got to go on a vacation where he won't have to help worth the baby?????  What...the...February???"
[Editor's note for context:  the male Beluga got moved to a different aquarium.]

CNC:  well, they're not SEAHORSES, K.  Also, I don't know what kind of participatory parenting is going on in a Beluga whale tank anyway.

Me:  all's I'm sayin' is I don't know what's worse:  a deadbeat whale dad or a slutty panda.

CNC:  Maybe THEY should get together.

Me:  no, because with a deadbeat dad and a slutty mother, the child gets abandoned and the bit becomes the responsibility of the American public to raise and support the child through welfare programs.  Wait...isn't that what a zoo IS??

CNC:  BRILLIANT

Warped?  Not.at.all.