Friday, July 26, 2013

My Weird Friends: Post #35 (or something)

My crazy Liberace loving friend and I share some irreverent emails on occasion.  Okay, really, most of our conversations, no matter the medium, take a turn for the weird.  I think in some ways, we set out with grim determination to see who has the most abstract content.

My friend, whose sanity I seriously question, has her daughter at home with her for the next month while waiting to start a new school.  This while juggling the demands of an infant and trying to work 40 hours a week from home.  Bet you are starting to question her sanity as well.  This has been her first full week and if everyone in the household survives the next month, then it will be due to being on the receiving end of man many many miracles.  So, if within the next month, you ask for a miracle and do not receive it, you too can blame my friend Liberace.

To lighten the mood, I forwarded an email I received about artificial insemination of pandas.  The email was titled innocently enough "Giant Panda Update:  Cub Watch Begins!"  I am not sure why I continue to receive emails very technical in nature about giant panda insemination, but I am always happy to share them.  In this email, they mentioned that since Mei Xiang and Tian Tian failed to mate naturally, Mei Xiang had been inseminated twice with the sperm of Tian Tian and another male, Gao Gao.  The following chain ensued:

Me:  No matter how fun Mommy Day camp is NOT, at least you are not getting updates regarding the artificial insemination of pandas.
Liberace:  I'm pretty sure Tian Tian wouldn't appreciate the Smithsonian advertising his deficiencies.
Me:  And if it turns out to be Gao Gao's baby, is Tian Tian going to be expected to raise it?  How come Gao Gao gets off scott free?
Liberace:  Right?!  Is there a mediation lawyer for panda custody cases?
Me:  That could be our million dollar money maker - Panda Custody lawyers!  How's your mandarin?

And that, friends, is how you get sucked into a panda custody wormhole.


AmericnJewl said...

Liberace sounds like the most amazing person ever. But she's so lucky to have a friend like you.

Sheri said...

i agree. i either want to be liberace's bestie, or artificially inseminated by a dude named gao gao. he can be a panda, or not. i'm not fussy.