A Mother's Creed

I have found that as a mother to any creature (well, maybe not fish), we are often vulnerable to judgement from outsider's. It's not that we make ourselves vulnerable, it's that people feel it's appropriate to comment on what we are doing. You learn to smile, nod and ignore it (if it's unsolicited) or take it with a grain of salt. But sometimes, in your weakest moment, a kernel of doubt wedges itself in your brain, and in your heart. The following tidbit is for those times:

A Mother's Creed
I am a mother first, a wife second and a friend always.

I am not perfect, nor should I try. It is my duty and obligation to make mistakes - otherwise, how will I learn?

I will not always be patient, wise and kind, but I will always love my child (whether furry or human) through thick and thin.

My house will never be featured in "Tidy Homes USA", but friends and family will always be welcome.

My meals will never not always be from scratch, or even made at home, but judge me by the time spent with family, and not by the meals that I serve.

My child may not have the prettiest ponytails or coordinating Gymboree outfits, but she is sent off to school with a hug, a kiss and an "I love you" every morning and that's what I hope she remembers.

I work full time to help provide for my family while my daughter goes to school all day - that won't change and we are all okay with that.

At the end of the day, nothing said or done will change the fact that my child is my legacy and she's who matters most. In the meantime, we learn together through this parenting.

JOTW: Phaeleh "Afterglow"

My musical taste is eclectic for sure. There are only a couple of types of music that really don't capture my attention (sorry classical music and jazz fans), but for the most part, I'm willing to try anything at least once.

I've always been a downtempo fan and when you mix it with my new fave, dubstep, it's a killer combination for me. That's exactly what Phaeleh and Soundmouse do on "Afterglow." There's just something so soothing about this song that it creates the effect of laying on the sofa under a fleece blanket for me. Hope you enjoy!

Woman, shake a leg!

This is the look you get when you ask your child and her BFF to stand for a third picture in sub zero temperature at the beginning of the ice sculpture exhibit because you weren't happy with the first two. Well deserved, I'd say.

If it ain't broke...

... don't try to fix it!

I read a post at amalah.com that really struck a chord with me. In a nutshell, she's talking about her son's educational future and some of the challenges they face with her son's autism. In it, she says: "so we keep chugging along and showing up and doing everything we possibly can to help, to guide, to aid.

But not to "fix."

Because you can't fix something that isn't broken. And my child is not, and never has been, broken."

I think, as parents, we should all take this view. Challenging? Absolutely. Maddening? You're not doing it right if your child doesn't drive you mad every once in awhile. Lucky to escape with lives (and hair) intact? Well, that's a post for another day, but the point is, no matter what teachers or doctors or family and friend say, you should never view your child as "broken." Embrace them, embrace how they are different and spend less time trying to "fix" what isn't "broken." Guide them instead. Guide them towards spirituality, morality and confident self-awareness. You'll spend less time worrying about how they measure up to their peers, or whether or not they are where they should be developmentally and be able to make room for things that are more important - the child themselves.

Just a public service announcement from your not-so-famous Aunt Kelly.

JOTW Fleetwood Mac Revisited

I have a revelation: I am a child of the 80's. Love me some 80's music. Electrofunk, slow jams, synthpop, you name it, I like it. Fleetwood Mac is one of my all time favorite 80's bands. Pretty much any and all of their stuff is more than okay by me.

On the flip side, Kristin Chenoweth's voice ALWAYS surprises me. Such a great voice in such a tiny package. So when I heard this cover, I was blown away! I hope you enjoy it!

First World Issues - Animal Rescue

In case you're a first time reader, one of my passions (aside from documenting KIC's antics) is helping find homeless animals "forever homes." There can be something so soul gratifying to be able to take an animal whose chances were otherwise VERY slim and work hard to finding a home that is compatible with them and their needs. When the "magic of the universe" happens, it's pretty incredible to witness. And for my part, I've met some pretty incredible people who I am extremely blessed to call "friend" as a result of volunteering.

Animal rescue is not easy work by any stretch of the imagination. And when you become a foster parent to an animal, the stakes get a bit higher, emotionally, physically and financially. Our expenses as fosters (not including most medical because the rescue covers that) are well above $6000 each year. That doesn't include the time spent on transportation, or adoption events or crazy random situations (cat with two broken hips and a broken pelvis sound familiar?). That doesn't include the damage done to our house, or the strained neighbor relations or even the strained family/friend relations because they think I'm crazy (yes, I'm putting the blame where it belongs). Over and over and over again, we did it because on every level it was rewarding.

Recently, I've gotten hammered from several different directions that makes me realize it's gotten to be more stressful than joyful. I still LOVE the animals I have in my house (including Havoc and Mayhem) and still wish for them to find good homes, but the stress is starting to outweigh the good. People with good intentions give out my name in number in the hopes that I can help their friend/neighbor/cousin/random stranger place an unwanted animal, thinking that just because they don't want their 9 year old German Shepherd mix who gets annoyed because they won't control their 2 year old child and now she's snapped at the kid, SOMEONE SURELY wants an otherwise "perfect" dog. Or someone knows someone who has to find a home for a dog IMMEDIATELY. Only after several hours of frantic work, does it come to light that the situation isn't dire and that the animal truly DOESN'T need to be rehomed after all. Worst of all is the discrimination. "Hounds don't make good pets because they are bred to hunt." "Does that dog have pit bull in it? I can't have a pit bull, or anything resembling a pit bull, because I heard of this one time that a pit ate all of a baby's fingers." "I don't want a girl dog because I don't want to feel her teats." "I don't find orange tabbies attractive" as the tabby in question turns herself INSIDE OUT showing why she'd be a perfect fit. "Black cats bring bad luck." Sadly, I've witnessed all those statements. I could provide the statistics of all of the dog breeds I've seen get homed, but I'm sure it would fall on deaf ears.

While my "I may not be able to save everyone, but I can make a difference to this one" attitude wanes, it leaves me wondering what the future holds for me. The need to match homeless animals with families hasn't diminished because people don't spay and neuter pets and shelters are full all over the nation. And the truth is, I just don't have the time to devote to the animals now that I tackle the challenges of balancing a 12 hour work day, a much more active home life and figuring out what the plans are for our little family. But I do know that without a support system, internal and external, the Shoup Animal House doors are destined to close for business - permanently. While some may rejoice at this news, I am a conflict of relief and sadness. Overall, the entire experience has been so extremely rewarding on so many levels, it will be hard to walk away.

JOTW: Matisyahu "Miracle"

Artists like Matisyahu sort of defy not only definition, but stereotype as well. When you see an orthodox Jew with the yarmulke and long beard, the last thing you'd expect is to hear lyrical stylings reminiscent of Bob Marley, yet that is what you get, and more, from Matisyahu.

My friend Bonnie turned me onto this song. While I am acutely aware of the fact that it is about Hanukkah, much of the message is universal.

On a side note, today is the day that my same friend Bonnie moved away, so I post this in tribute of her and the fact that tonight is the 8th night for all my Jewish friends. Happy Hannukah!