Monday, October 17, 2011

It's all lies, I tell ya!

I've come to realize that in order to survive as a parent, one must master the technique of the well crafted, only slightly damaging lie.  Examples:  "Yes, honey, there really is a {insert seasonal character of choice}."  "Noooooooo, Mommy and Daddy didn't buy that for you, {seasonal character of choice} did."

What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that I have raised a rather jaded child.  Ain't no pulling the wool over this girl's eyes.  Well, unless you say "Uh Oh" but I think every kid falls prey to that trick.  Here are some examples from the weekend:

Post flu shot (which my tough girl cried for roughly 2 minutes before being distracted by the ladybugs painted on the mural):
Me:  "You were such a brave girl today."
KIC: " Yeah (duh, mom)."
Me:  "I know Minga (her grandmother) got a flu shot and I bet she wasn't as brave."
KIC:  "Really?"
Me:  "Yup, I bet Minga even cried when she got her flu shot." 
KIC:  "If you say so."

To be fair, I DIDN'T know Minga had gotten a flu shot, but still, I thought I had sold that who scenario very well.

On the way to bowling:
Me:  "We're going to go bowling today."
KIC:  "And see Allie and have birthday cake??"
Me:  "Well, no, we're just going bowling to go bowling.  It's not Allie's birthday.  Her birthday was a couple of weeks ago."
KIC:  (with sarcasm DRIPPING from her every word)  "Really, Mom??  REALLY?" 

Now, I could have retorted with "Not every occasion requires cake and a party!!!" but I didn't.  I chose, instead, to shoot her father a dirty look and say "YOU did this!"  The impact of my glare was lost on him as he giggled like a schoolgirl at the fact that my THREE YEAR OLD CHILD is well on her way to accomplishing something he has always had trouble with - seeing right through me!  Isn't there supposed to be a ten year grace period where she believes everything I say???

If you have a story to tell about when your child caught you in a lie, I'd love to hear it.

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